Vintage soul

December 2, 2009
The first in a series of paranormal vampire mysteries begins with the abduction of a sexpot vampire with "the smooth, flawless skin of a seventeen-year old," and a dress that "rippled with every shift of her well-muscled form." Several more impossible crimes follow, complete with near-endless descriptions of effortlessly subverted security hurdles. Detective DeChance is brought in by the vampires' council of elders to find the perpetrator. Tall, dark and handsome, DeChance is also an accomplished wizard whose spells protect him from vampires, and his girlfriend (also tall and beautiful) is an expert in the magic of crystals. As the kidnapper taunts his victim with details of his plot (in a voice "empty of mirth but dripping with contempt"), the flat plot spins out predictably with mystical smoke and plenty of explosions, but little real craft.